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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Just landed via TikTok:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Spotted on Instagram:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Making waves on YouTube:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Going viral on Reddit:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Trending via Messenger:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Freshly posted on X:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Funny free will quotes

Funny free will quotes bring a hilarious twist to the age-old question of choice and destiny 🤔😂. They poke fun at our attempts to control life while reminding us to laugh at the unpredictability of it all 🎭✨. Perfect for sparking thoughtful chuckles or sharing a witty moment with friends, these quotes celebrate the quirky dance between fate and freedom 🎉🌀. Ready to giggle and ponder? Let’s dive in!

New funny free will quotes 👇

All funny free will quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

64 shares on X this month:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

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