Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Just shared via X:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Just landed via Instagram:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Trending via Reddit:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Going viral on Slack:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Seen just now on Threads:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Spotted on Slack:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Funny gala quotes

Funny gala quotes bring the perfect mix of glam and giggles to any fancy event 🎩✨ Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add a splash of humor to your speech, these witty gems will have everyone chuckling between the champagne toasts 🥂😂 Get ready to sparkle with laughter and make your next gala unforgettable with a playful twist! 🎉💫

New funny gala quotes 👇

All funny gala quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

23 shares on X this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Spotted on Pinterest:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Trending via X:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love unplanned fun.

Just landed via Messenger:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Just landed via Threads:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Just shared via Threads:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴