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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Shared recently on Threads:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Making waves on Threads:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Live now on Messenger:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Funny Godfather quotes

Funny Godfather quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic mafia saga 🎩😄 Whether you’re a Godfather fan or just love clever one-liners, these witty gems will make you chuckle and nod with approval 🍝💥 Get ready to laugh like a boss and add some mobster humor to your day! 🕶️🔥

New funny Godfather quotes 👇

All funny Godfather quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

64 shares on X this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

47 shares on Twitch this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Spotted on Twitch:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Just landed via TikTok:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Spotted on Facebook:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

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