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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,788

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Trending via Slack:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Going bananas on Facebook:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Live now on TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Just landed via Twitch:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Trending via Twitch:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Going viral on WeChat:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Making waves on Slack:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Live now on Threads:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Spotted on X:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Home » Funny Government Office Quotes

Funny government office quotes

New funny government office quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

0

3 months ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

All funny government office quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

66 shares on Discord this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

80 shares on Telegram this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Breaking via Twitch:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Breaking via Threads:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Making waves on Pinterest:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Breaking via X:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Trending via YouTube:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Making waves on Twitch:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny government office quotes

New funny government office quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

All funny government office quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨