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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

4,022

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Spotted on Threads:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just landed via Slack:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Spotted on Messenger:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Trending via X:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Just shared via X:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Home » Funny Greg Quotes

Funny Greg quotes

Funny Greg quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉 and unexpected wit 🤪 to brighten your day! Whether you need a quick mood lift or a hilarious icebreaker 😂, Greg’s unique humor never fails to deliver. Dive into these gems 💎 and get ready to share some chuckles with friends. Warning: side effects may include uncontrollable giggles and spontaneous smile attacks! 😄✨ #FunnyGreg #LaughterBoost

New funny Greg quotes 👇

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

0

2 months ago

brown, Greg, guy, humor, leaf, nature, observation
I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

0

2 months ago

bad, friend, glasses, Greg, humor, i, investigative, investigative journalist, journalist, lane, lois, Lois Lane, lunch, recognition, saying, time, wear, work, yesterday

All funny Greg quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on X this month:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

32 shares on Twitch this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Live now on Threads:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Breaking via Discord:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Imagine being social on social media.

Going viral on TikTok:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

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