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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just landed via Twitch:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Trending via TikTok:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Spotted on X:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Just shared via Threads:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Spotted on X:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Funny Greg quotes

Funny Greg quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉 and unexpected wit 🤪 to brighten your day! Whether you need a quick mood lift or a hilarious icebreaker 😂, Greg’s unique humor never fails to deliver. Dive into these gems 💎 and get ready to share some chuckles with friends. Warning: side effects may include uncontrollable giggles and spontaneous smile attacks! 😄✨ #FunnyGreg #LaughterBoost

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on TikTok this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

56 shares on Threads this month:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

26 shares on Discord this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Going viral on Slack:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Seen just now on Messenger:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Just shared via Instagram:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Just shared via Instagram:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

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