Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Trending via Facebook:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Trending via X:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Trending via Reddit:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Trending via TikTok:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Funny grounded quotes

Funny grounded quotes bring a hilarious twist to staying humble and down-to-earth 🌍😂 Whether you’re dealing with life’s little bumps or just need a good chuckle while keeping it real, these witty gems will keep you smiling 😄✨ Perfect for sharing with friends who love a bit of humor mixed with wisdom! Ready to get grounded and giggle? Let’s dive in! 🎉🤣

New funny grounded quotes 👇

All funny grounded quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

42 shares on Slack this month:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Making waves on TikTok:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Spotted on WeChat:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Making waves on Facebook:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Making waves on Messenger:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

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