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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,935

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,935

3 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Live now on TikTok:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Trending via Instagram:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Spotted on Threads:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Going viral on Facebook:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Just landed via X:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Home » Funny Guide Dog Quotes

Funny guide dog quotes

Funny guide dog quotes 🐾 bring a paws-itively hilarious twist to the incredible bond between humans and their furry navigators! Whether you’re a dog lover or just need a good chuckle 😂, these witty sayings highlight the charm, quirks, and unstoppable spirit of guide dogs. Ready to smile and wag along? Let’s fetch some joy together! 🐶✨

New funny guide dog quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Commentary:
🐶✨ "I need a 'Nope, don't do it' dog ASAP! My current life coach (my cat) just shrugs and walks away! 😂🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Commentary:
"From heroic K-9s to… poop-strategist extraordinaire! 🐶💩 Let's just say, every dog has its own 'special talent'! 😄 #PoopPrecision"

For even more funny guide dog quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny guide dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,935

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,935

3 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Just landed via Threads:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Just landed via X:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

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