Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Just landed via Reddit:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Going viral on Instagram:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Trending via WeChat:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Funny guide dog quotes

Funny guide dog quotes 🐾 bring a paws-itively hilarious twist to the incredible bond between humans and their furry navigators! Whether you’re a dog lover or just need a good chuckle 😂, these witty sayings highlight the charm, quirks, and unstoppable spirit of guide dogs. Ready to smile and wag along? Let’s fetch some joy together! 🐶✨

New funny guide dog quotes 👇

All funny guide dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

73 shares on Reddit this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Just shared via Threads:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Spotted on Discord:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Trending via TikTok:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Live now on Discord:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

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