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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Broadcasted on X:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Seen just now on YouTube:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Going viral on Reddit:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Funny hacked quotes

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New funny hacked quotes 👇

All funny hacked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

82 shares on X this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

45 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Breaking via X:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Shared recently on Slack:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Making waves on Reddit:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Shared recently on Threads:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Just landed via Twitch:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Seen just now on Threads:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Trending via Facebook:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

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