Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Going viral on WeChat:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Spotted on YouTube:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Just shared via Telegram:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Trending via Instagram:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Funny handwritten quotes

Funny handwritten quotes bring a splash of humor and personality to your day ✍️😂 Whether doodled in notebooks or scribbled on sticky notes, they turn ordinary words into quirky smiles 😜✨ Perfect for brightening up your feed or adding a cheeky twist to your messages, these playful scribbles prove that laughter really is the best ink! 🖊️🎉

New funny handwritten quotes 👇

All funny handwritten quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

82 shares on X this month:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Live now on YouTube:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Spotted on Reddit:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Live now on Twitch:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Just shared via Twitch:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

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