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If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert. - 74 shares on Facebook this week.
I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares. - 31 shares on X this week.
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected. - 15 shares on X this week.
I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running. - 28 shares on Instagram this week.
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan. - 58 shares on X this week.

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Funny quotes » house arrest

Funny house arrest quotes

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Posted on7 days ago

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