Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Trending via Facebook:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Making waves on Facebook:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Trending via Messenger:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Going viral on Slack:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Funny house arrest quotes

Funny house arrest quotes bring a hilarious twist to staying put indoors 🏠😂 Whether you’re stuck at home by choice or circumstance, these witty lines turn confinement into comic relief 🎭💡 Perfect for sharing laughs and lightening the mood during those “grounded” moments! Ready to see the bright side of being housebound? Let’s dive into some clever humor that proves you can still have fun behind closed doors! 🚪😄

New funny house arrest quotes 👇

All funny house arrest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

87 shares on Discord this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

24 shares on Threads this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just landed via TikTok:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

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