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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Just landed via Facebook:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Just landed via Twitch:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Just landed via Threads:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Just landed via Threads:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Funny house arrest quotes

Funny house arrest quotes bring a hilarious twist to staying put indoors 🏠😂 Whether you’re stuck at home by choice or circumstance, these witty lines turn confinement into comic relief 🎭💡 Perfect for sharing laughs and lightening the mood during those “grounded” moments! Ready to see the bright side of being housebound? Let’s dive into some clever humor that proves you can still have fun behind closed doors! 🚪😄

New funny house arrest quotes 👇

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

0

2 months ago

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself
I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing

All funny house arrest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

56 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

57 shares on X this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Going bananas on Telegram:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Making waves on YouTube:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Going bananas on Twitch:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Shared recently on Slack:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

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