Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

44 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Shared recently on Reddit:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Shared recently on Discord:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Making waves on Discord:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Breaking via Twitch:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Trending via X:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Going viral on YouTube:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Home » Funny Intrusive Quotes

Funny intrusive quotes

New funny intrusive quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
3 months ago
Share →: Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Commentary:
"Having more intrusive thoughts than a 90s sitcom neighbor 🤯🏠 – at least you won't hear the laugh track every time they pop up! 😆 #MindFullHouse"
6 months ago
Share →: Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Commentary:
"Ah, the beginner's guide to anxiety – where overthinking meets self-doubt in a delightful dance of chaos! 💭🤯 Remember, it's all fun and games until your brain decides to replay every embarrassing moment from the past decade at 3 AM. Enjoy the ride! 🎢😅"

For even more funny intrusive quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny intrusive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

44 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Reported on Discord:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Reported on WeChat:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Reported on Discord:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Breaking via Instagram:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Spotted on X:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴