Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Trending via Slack:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Making waves on WeChat:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Freshly posted on X:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Just shared via Discord:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Funny intrusive quotes

Funny intrusive quotes are those hilarious little thoughts that pop into your head at the most unexpected moments 🤯😂. They sneak in uninvited, making you laugh, cringe, or just say, “Where did that come from?” 🤪 Whether it’s awkward situations or random brain chatter, these quotes capture the goofy side of our minds. Ready to embrace the chaos and giggle at the weirdness? Let’s dive into the funniest intrusions ever! 🎉🧠✨

New funny intrusive quotes 👇

All funny intrusive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

62 shares on Slack this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Going viral on Facebook:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Trending via Pinterest:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴