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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,993

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,993

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Freshly posted on X:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Just shared via Messenger:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Just shared via TikTok:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Making waves on Reddit:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Just shared via Threads:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spotted on Slack:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Going viral on X:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Just shared via YouTube:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Going viral on YouTube:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,993

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,993

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Trending via Threads:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Seen just now on WeChat:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Reported on Threads:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Trending via Instagram:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just shared via X:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

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