Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Making waves on WeChat:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Just landed via Discord:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Live now on Slack:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Just shared via Threads:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Trending via Pinterest:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Trending via Telegram:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Funny jargon quotes

Funny jargon quotes bring a hilarious twist to those everyday buzzwords and tech talk 🤓💬. Whether you’re drowning in corporate lingo or decoding geek speak, these witty gems turn confusing terms into pure comedy gold 😂✨. Perfect for breaking the ice or spicing up your chats, get ready to laugh out loud while mastering the art of clever wordplay! 🎉📚

New funny jargon quotes 👇

All funny jargon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

12 shares on Threads this month:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Trending via YouTube:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Making waves on Threads:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Making waves on X:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Going viral on Threads:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Breaking via Twitch:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

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