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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Going viral on Telegram:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Making waves on Twitch:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Going viral on Slack:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Funny jour quotes

New funny jour quotes 👇

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

2 months ago

bullshit, changing, day, du, food, french, humor, joke, jour, keep, language, restaurant, soup, soup du jour, translation

All funny jour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Threads this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

34 shares on X this month:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

12 shares on X this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Spotted on YouTube:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Making waves on Discord:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Live now on Discord:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Making waves on X:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Shared recently on X:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny jour quotes

New funny jour quotes 👇

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

All funny jour quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨