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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Love when a doctor emails me about my โ€œoutstanding billโ€. If itโ€™s so good, why donโ€™t you pay it?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Iโ€™m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Reddit:

My workout goals are simple: Iโ€™d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Shared recently on WeChat:

โ€œDating poolโ€ is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Trending via Discord:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Just landed via X:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Just landed via Telegram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Just shared via Reddit:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Home ยป Funny Kettle Quotes

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๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

66 shares on X this month:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

78 shares on X this month:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

This entire month couldโ€™ve been an email.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Oddโ€”my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,031

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

“Why does my back always hurt?โ€, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million oโ€™clock tonight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Slack:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Spotted on Slack:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Making waves on Facebook:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Trending via Discord:

I find as I get older itโ€™s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Going viral on Instagram:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Just landed via Slack:

To the people who have only fans, whatโ€™s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Thereโ€™s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Making waves on Slack:

Itโ€™s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didnโ€™t used to be like this.

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