Commentary:
"Parenting tip of the day: Forget textbooks, just hand over the iPad! 📱👦👧 Who needs math when your kid could be gearing up to battle cyborgs in the future anyway? 🤖💥 #ParentingWin #CyborgFighters"
224 Funny kids quotes
The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.
Commentary:
"Printers and kids: Always demanding attention, making a racket, and throwing a tantrum when they're not online 🖨️🧒 Just try not to mix up the paper and the crayons!"
Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?
Commentary:
"Friends with no kids are out here making plans like: 'Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?' 🌏🧳 Meanwhile, my schedule is more like: 'Want to go to the grocery store this Friday… after nap time.' 🤷♂️😂"
I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.
Commentary:
"Seriously, can you imagine a modern-day teen movie? Half the scenes would just be awkward silence as they stare at their screens 😂📱 #90sKidsRule"
I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.
Commentary:
"Wanting a spotless house while managing a hurricane of toys and snacks 🏡🌪️ Parenting, the eternal struggle of cleanliness vs chaos!😅 #MomLife"
Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.
Commentary:
"Looks like we’ve finally cracked the code to solving the declining birthrate – forget lullabies, what we really need are some fire lo-fi beats to keep those kiddos in check! 🎵👶 #ParentingHack"
Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.
Commentary:
"Looks like your mom's got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest"
I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.
Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of parenting – you think you're going to drop some insightful life lessons on your kids, only to realize they're already living those lessons! 🤪🍻 Just when you thought you had it all figured out… Parenting: making you question everything since forever! 🤦♂️🤷♀️"
Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.
Commentary:
"Next level parenting move: Start the 'are we there yet?' interrogation before your kids even have a chance to ask. 😆🚗 #ParentingPro"
Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.
Commentary:
"Watching my little angels master the delicate dance between sibling love and chaos is like witnessing a live sitcom – with a sprinkle of chaos, a dash of giggles, and a whole lot of heartwarming moments! 🎭💕 #SiblingsDaycareAndLaughs"