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Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,028

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Going viral on Slack:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being awake is the worst.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Seen just now on Slack:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

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November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

98 shares on Slack this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Going bananas on Twitch:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Trending via Instagram:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Going viral on YouTube:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Just shared via X:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

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Funny lesbian quotes

New funny lesbian quotes 👇

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

All funny lesbian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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