Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Breaking via Reddit:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Breaking via WeChat:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Trending via Threads:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Seen just now on Slack:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Trending via Reddit:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Funny light year quotes

Funny light year quotes 🚀✨ are the perfect way to add some cosmic humor to your day! Whether you’re a space nerd or just love a good pun, these witty lines will take your laughter to light speed 🌟😂. Get ready to orbit around some clever jokes that are out of this world 🌌🤣—because who says space can’t be hilarious?

New funny light year quotes 👇

All funny light year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

27 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is based on a true story.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Just shared via Instagram:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Freshly posted on X:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Making waves on Messenger:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Making waves on YouTube:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Shared recently on Threads:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Going viral on Instagram:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴