Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Going viral on Twitch:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Trending via Pinterest:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Trending via Telegram:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Seen just now on WeChat:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Going viral on Discord:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Breaking via Telegram:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Funny linguistic quotes

Funny linguistic quotes 🤓🎉 bring the quirks of language to life with a splash of humor! From tongue twisters to wordplay, they make linguistics feel like a delightful puzzle 🧩 full of laughs 😂. Whether you’re a grammar geek or just love clever puns, these witty gems will brighten your day and spark your curiosity about the magic behind the words we use every day 🌟📚.

New funny linguistic quotes 👇

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, child, development, humor, i, know, knowledge, linguistic, linguistic development, nothing, parenting, stage, why, why stage
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

0

2 months ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule

All funny linguistic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

53 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

85 shares on X this month:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Making waves on Slack:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Making waves on Twitch:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Live now on Pinterest:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Just landed via X:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

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