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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Just shared via Slack:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Spotted on Twitch:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Trending via WeChat:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Just landed via Facebook:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Trending via X:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Going viral on Instagram:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Spotted on X:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Trending via Instagram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Shared recently on Threads:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Trending via Threads:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

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