Commentary:
"Kids have it all figured out, don't they? Meanwhile, I'm over here still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I should start taking career advice from kindergarteners!"
750 Funny love quotes
Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.
Commentary:
"Who needs words when you have those adorable puppy eyes and wagging tails? Dogs have mastered the art of communication without saying a word – it's no wonder they have us wrapped around their paws!"
Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.
Commentary:
"Who needs roses when you can have nuggets? Because nothing says 'I love you' like a crispy, golden token of affection. Forget the flowers, let those nuggets do the talking – and trust me, they speak the language of deliciousness!"
I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!
Commentary:
Well, it seems like even vegans can't resist crashing a fish's house party when it comes to water! I guess H2O is just too tempting to pass up, even if it means intruding on the aquatic community's humble abode. Just remember, fish – vegans are coming for a sip, so make sure to hide your seaweed snacks!
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Commentary:
"Marriage is like having a permanent 'annoyance buddy' for life. It's a unique bond where you get to irritate each other in the most loving way possible. Who knew annoyance could be so endearing?"
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?
Commentary:
"God, I know good things come to those who wait, but a little update on the shipping status of my soulmate wouldn't hurt, right? Just want to make sure they're not lost in transit!"
I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? 😂 It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. 🧦☁️ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!👶🗣️
Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.
Commentary:
"Relationships are like room temperatures – it's all about that perfect balance! 🌡️❤️ So remember, it's all fun and games until someone turns up the heat or cranks the AC! 😂 #ThermostaticallyCompatible"
Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.
Commentary:
"Looks like Cupid missed the mark on this one! 😅💘 Who knew love could be so hazardous? Maybe next time Cupid should consider switching to a Nerf bow and arrow for safety reasons. 🏹 #ValentinesDayGoneWrong"
I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.
Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals