Commentary:
Well, well, it looks like the bodyguard has found a true friend in you! Taking a bullet is definitely a step up from just holding the door open or carrying groceries. Let's just hope you two won't have to test that bond anytime soon!
29 Funny loyalty quotes
The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.
Commentary:
Looks like those three people have secured their spots in the will by diligently hitting that "like" button! Who knew that social media engagement could have such high stakes? Better keep an eye on those notifications, you never know when your inheritance might be at stake!
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.
Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of true friendship – where they see your quirks and flaws, yet still choose to stick around and make omelettes with you. Who needs perfection when you've got someone who appreciates your scrambled self?"
I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.
Commentary:
"I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference. 🤣⛰️ Who needs a specific hill when you're ready to go all in on any plot of land? Flexibility at its finest! 💪 #HillLover #NoHillPreference"
I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.
Commentary:
🐶 "Why do dogs always want to accompany us to the bathroom? Well, maybe it's just their way of returning the favor for all those outdoor potty breaks we give them! It's a 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours… or sniff yours' kinda deal!" 🚽🤣
“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.
Commentary:
"Sure, Apple Music may have better sound quality, but have you ever tried separating a parent from their children? 🍎🔊 vs. 🎧🎶 #PlaylistProblems"
Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.
Commentary:
"Anxiety: the gift that keeps on giving…and taking 😅💳 Imagine racking up points every time you overthink – redeemable for extra worrying or free panic attacks! Who needs a points card when you've got anxiety on your side? 🏆✨"
I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.
Commentary:
"Who needs Elon when you've got your own cosmic Twitter vibes 🚀💫 Keep shining bright, darling! #TweetingBeforeElon"
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.
Commentary:
"Looks like Fido is living that thug life while getting pampered at the groomer! 🐶🕶️ Who knew he had street cred to go along with those fresh trims? Watch out, Snoop Dogg, there's a new canine gangster in town! 🐾💥"
Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.
Commentary:
"When you're serving up loyalty like free samples at Costco, but your 'favorite flavor' turns out to be expired 🍦😬 #loyaltyfail #heartbreakinhumor"