Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Trending via X:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Just landed via WeChat:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Breaking via Threads:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Making waves on X:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Funny manifestation quotes

Funny manifestation quotes bring a cheeky twist to the law of attraction ✨😂 Whether you’re manifesting your dream life or just a pizza delivery, these witty lines add humor and good vibes to your mindset ✨🍕 Ready to laugh your way to your goals? Let’s manifest some magic with a smile! 😄🌟

New funny manifestation quotes 👇

All funny manifestation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

46 shares on Discord this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

88 shares on X this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Breaking via X:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just landed via TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Spreading quickly via X:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Going viral on Reddit:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Just landed via Slack:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

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