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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Making waves on YouTube:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Going viral on X:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Breaking via X:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Breaking via Twitch:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Just shared via Reddit:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Seen just now on Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just shared via X:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

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Funny manipulative quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Just landed via Threads:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Making waves on Slack:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Just shared via Threads:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Seen just now on TikTok:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

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