Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Breaking via Telegram:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Going viral on Twitch:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Trending via X:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Spotted on Threads:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Just landed via Reddit:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Funny messy state quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

30 shares on Discord this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

40 shares on X this month:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

91 shares on X this month:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Making waves on Instagram:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Spotted on Discord:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Seen just now on Slack:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Going viral on Threads:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Trending via Discord:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Making waves on Pinterest:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

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