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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Spotted on Facebook:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Spotted on Slack:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just landed via YouTube:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Spotted on Messenger:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Funny movie character quotes

New funny movie character quotes 👇

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

9 hours ago

appreciate, bond, character, humor, i, interest, james, James Bond, joke, movie, movie character, myself, next, rejection, running, self-deprecating, spy, thank, understanding
You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

2 months ago

character, comparison, donkey, funny comparison, having, home, humor, just, kid, kids, know, movie, movie character, parenting, Shrek, talking

All funny movie character quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Just shared via Twitch:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Trending via Discord:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Spotted on Threads:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny movie character quotes

New funny movie character quotes 👇

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

All funny movie character quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨