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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Spotted on WeChat:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Making waves on Threads:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Reported on Twitch:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Making waves on X:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Shared recently on X:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Just landed via X:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Breaking via Slack:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I would like even faster food.

Making waves on Twitch:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

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