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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Going bananas on Threads:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Going viral on Facebook:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Trending via Facebook:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Spotted on X:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Trending via Twitch:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Home » Funny New Beginning Quotes

Funny new beginning quotes

New funny new beginning quotes 👇

All funny new beginning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,683

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Breaking via Telegram:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Live now on Instagram:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Just shared via Telegram:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

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