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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Making waves on Slack:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Just landed via Twitch:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Shared recently on Threads:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Breaking via WeChat:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Funny ol’ quotes

Funny ol’ quotes bring a splash of laughter and wisdom wrapped in timeless charm 😂✨. They’re the perfect mix of wit and nostalgia that brighten your day and tickle your brain 🧠💫. Whether you need a quick chuckle or a clever comeback, these gems never fail to deliver smiles and good vibes 😄🎉. Ready to dive into some classic humor? Let’s get the giggles going! 🎈😎

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

In banana years, I am bread.

Breaking via Twitch:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Trending via X:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Just shared via TikTok:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

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