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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1892 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,054

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,054

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Spotted on WeChat:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Making waves on Threads:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Just landed via Telegram:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Live now on Pinterest:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1892 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,054

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,054

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Just landed via Threads:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Spotted on Slack:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

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