Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Going viral on YouTube:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Trending via Discord:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Just shared via YouTube:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Going viral on Slack:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Funny passport quotes

Funny passport quotes bring a splash of humor to your travel adventures ✈️😂 Whether you’re jet-setting across the globe or just dreaming of far-off places, these witty lines add personality and laughs to your passport page 📖🌍 Ready to turn your travel document into a conversation starter? Let’s dive into some hilarious vibes that make every stamp a little more fun! 🎒😄

New funny passport quotes 👇

All funny passport quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I woke up alive again.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

40 shares on X this month:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Live now on Pinterest:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Live now on Discord:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Trending via Messenger:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Making waves on Twitch:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

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