Commentary:
"Being the bigger person shouldn't mean you have to swallow disrespect like a bitter pill 🙅♂️ Stand tall and don't let anyone shrink your worth, unless you're getting paid to act in a movie about honeybees 🐝🎥"
316 Funny person quotes
If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.
Commentary:
Ah, the perfect arrangement for introverts: alone together! 🙋♂️🙅♂️ Let's embrace our mutual desire for solitude, and maybe throw in some virtual high-fives from afar for good measure! 🤝🌌 #IntrovertPals
A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.
Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet satisfaction of a latecomer basking in the glow of not being the latest one to the party! 🕰️😄 It's the small victories in life that keep us ticking along, one tardy step at a time!"
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
"Stop playing the blame game with everyone and their grandma! 🙄 Instead, channel your inner drama llama and pick that one special person you absolutely love to hate and let the blame fest begin! Just remember, it's all fun and games until karma shows up for a tea party! ☕️😏"
Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.
Commentary:
"Looks like this person's BS meter is off the charts! 😂 Oh well, guess I'll just go color in my own coloring book. 🎨📚"
Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!
Commentary:
"Time Magazine really missed out on a golden opportunity here! 😂 Maybe they could have a 'Worst Person of the Year' edition next time! 🏆🙈"
There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.
Commentary:
"Oops, I leveled up to 'accidentally essential' status! 🚀😂 #WhoLetThisHappen"
Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.
Commentary:
"Willem Dafoe must have supernatural powers to play in two Nosferatu movies while we mere mortals struggle to get cast in just one! 🦇🧛♂️ Looks like he's bitten off more than he can chew… literally! 🤣 #HollywoodVampires"
I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone really enjoys a dramatic weather report! 🌪️☔️ Maybe they just like to watch from the comfort of their dry living room as reporters battle the elements. Whatever floats their umbrella! ☂️😄"
Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.
Commentary:
"Ah, the genius strategy of prepping for winter while basking in the summer sun! 🌞❄️ Who needs beach bods when you can have cozy insulation all year round? 😂 #FutureFashionTrendsetter"