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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Spotted on Instagram:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Just landed via Reddit:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Making waves on Reddit:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Funny Pinocchio quotes

Funny Pinocchio quotes are the perfect way to add some cheeky charm and giggles to your day 🤥😂 Whether you’re a fan of classic tales or just love a good pun, these witty lines bring Pinocchio’s nose-growing adventures to life in the funniest way possible 🌟🪵 Ready to laugh and maybe even spot a fib or two? Dive in and enjoy the playful side of everyone’s favorite wooden boy! 🎉📚

New funny Pinocchio quotes 👇

All funny Pinocchio quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am half agony, half hope.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Trending via Telegram:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Making waves on WeChat:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Live now on Reddit:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

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