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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Going viral on Telegram:

You wish you had this many chins.

Making waves on WeChat:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Just landed via YouTube:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Just shared via Twitch:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Spotted on Facebook:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Funny plain quotes

Funny plain quotes bring a splash of humor to everyday simplicity 😂✨ They turn the ordinary into chuckle-worthy moments, making plain words anything but boring! Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist to brighten your day, these gems are here to keep things light and playful 😜💬 Ready to smile at the simplest things? Let’s dive into the world of funny plain quotes! 🎉🤩

New funny plain quotes 👇

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

3 days ago

breakfast, disgusting, eating, filling, food, healthy, healthy eating, high, high protein, only, plain, powder, protein, protein powder, taste, yogurt
Nothing tops a plain pizza.

4 days ago

food, humor, nothing, pizza, plain, plain pizza, simple, simple food

All funny plain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

67 shares on X this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Going viral on Twitch:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Going bananas on Reddit:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Going viral on Slack:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Just landed via Instagram:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Spotted on Reddit:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

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