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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log

Someone from has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from has copied:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from has shared:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from has bookmarked:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from has copied:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from has downloaded:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

555 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,717

Funny Quotes Topics

13,681

Funny Quotes Images

10,717

6 minutes ago

3,412

Social Media Log

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Trending via Messenger:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Making waves on Reddit:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Making waves on Threads:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Home » Funny Play Date Quotes

Funny play date quotes

New funny play date quotes

1 week ago
Share →: The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Commentary:
"When your house puts on its 'fake clean' costume for a play date! "
4 months ago
Share →: Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Commentary:
"To all the gift-givers of board games for my kids: your presents have officially declared you as honorary family members! So tell us, when can we expect you to make your grand return and actually play with them? We've got Monopoly set up and ready to test friendships… "
5 months ago
Share →: Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Commentary:
"Three words that strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: 'Come on in.' Because we all know that's where chaos and mess await! #ParentingStruggles"

For even more funny play date quotes, check out the next page, if available

All funny play date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up.

Trending Funny Quotes

Hot Funny Quotes

Trending Topics

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

555 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,717

Funny Quotes Topics

13,681

Funny Quotes Images

10,717

6 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month

Funny Quotes of the Year

Activity Log

Someone from has shared:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from has shared:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from has shared:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from has copied:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from has bookmarked:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from has copied:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from has viewed:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Social Media Log

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Spotted on Snapchat:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Seen just now on Discord:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Trending via Discord:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Breaking via Discord:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

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