Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Going bananas on Discord:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Spotted on X:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Spotted on Discord:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Just landed via X:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Funny play date quotes

Funny play date quotes bring a burst of laughter to the chaos of toys and tiny tantrums 🎉😄 Whether it’s the hilarious antics of little ones or the unpredictable moments parents face, these witty sayings capture the joyful madness perfectly 🤪🧸 Get ready to giggle and relate as you dive into the world where playtime meets pure comedy and endless fun! 🎈✨

New funny play date quotes 👇

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

3 days ago

before, chores, date, humor, parenting, play, play date, pointless, tidy-up
Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

5 days ago

activity, board, board game, Christmas, date, family, family time, fun, fun activity, game, gift, kid, kids, parenting, play, play date, time
Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

2 weeks ago

awkward, awkward moment, childcare, come in, date, dropping, ever, gathering, hear, humor, kid, kids, moment, parent, play, play date, social, social gathering, words

All funny play date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Just shared via Twitch:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

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