Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Seen just now on Facebook:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Freshly posted on X:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Funny politely quotes

Funny politely quotes bring a splash of humor and charm to everyday conversations 😄✨ They’re the perfect blend of wit and kindness, making it easy to laugh without offending anyone 🤭💬 Whether you want to lighten the mood or sprinkle some joy in your messages, these clever lines keep things classy and hilarious at the same time 🎉📱 Get ready to smile while staying polite!

New funny politely quotes 👇

All funny politely quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

82 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

12 shares on Discord this month:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

40 shares on X this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Just landed via TikTok:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Trending via Discord:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Spotted on WeChat:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Just landed via Pinterest:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

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