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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Trending via LinkedIn:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Trending via Facebook:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Breaking via Slack:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Going viral on Slack:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Just shared via Telegram:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

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