Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Shared recently on Slack:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Just landed via Messenger:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Live now on Threads:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Making waves on TikTok:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Funny portion quotes

Funny portion quotes serve up the perfect slice of humor 🍕😄 to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone! Whether you’re battling a tiny snack or a massive meal, these witty lines bring laughter to every bite 🍔😂. Ready for a delicious dose of chuckles? Dive in and savor the fun! 🍩🎉

New funny portion quotes 👇

All funny portion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Trending via Slack:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Trending via Discord:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Just landed via Facebook:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Spotted on TikTok:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Broadcasted on X:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Just shared via YouTube:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

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