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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Just shared via Discord:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Seen just now on Messenger:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Just shared via Instagram:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Seen just now on Threads:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Just landed via Twitch:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Just landed via YouTube:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Making waves on Threads:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Funny practical quotes

Funny practical quotes bring a perfect blend of humor and wisdom to brighten your day! 😂✨ They turn everyday truths into clever nuggets that make you chuckle while nodding in agreement. Whether you need a quick mood boost or a witty life hack, these quotes deliver laughs with a dash of smarts. Ready to smile and think at the same time? Let’s dive into some seriously funny and practical gems! 😄💡

New funny practical quotes 👇

All funny practical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

57 shares on X this month:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

13 shares on Facebook this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Live now on Slack:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Seen just now on X:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Making waves on Threads:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Going viral on Messenger:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

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