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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Trending via Telegram:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Making waves on Instagram:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Spotted on Telegram:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Freshly posted on Discord:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Funny quiz quotes

Funny quiz quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 to every trivia night and game session! Whether you’re acing questions or hilariously missing the mark, these witty lines add extra fun 🎉 and lighten the mood. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your quiz night captions 📱, they turn brainy battles into unforgettable moments of joy and giggles. Ready to laugh your way through the quiz? Let the fun begin! 🎊🧠

New funny quiz quotes 👇

All funny quiz quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

61 shares on Threads this month:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Spotted on Threads:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Just landed via WeChat:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

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