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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Reported on Twitch:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Shared recently on X:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Trending via Pinterest:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Cool times create cool guys.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Live now on TikTok:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Live now on Threads:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Just landed via TikTok:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just shared via Messenger:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

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