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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Trending via Snapchat:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Just landed via TikTok:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Funny restaurant humor quotes

Funny restaurant humor quotes serve up a delicious blend of laughter and foodie fun 🍔😂 Perfect for chefs, diners, and anyone who loves a good meal with a side of giggles 🍕🤣 Whether you’re waiting for your order or just craving some tasty wit, these quotes will spice up your day and leave you hungry for more humor 🍽️😄 Bon appétit to all the laugh lovers out there!

New funny restaurant humor quotes 👇

All funny restaurant humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WeChat this month:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

24 shares on Threads this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

75 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Just landed via Pinterest:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Spotted on Instagram:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Spotted on Reddit:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Going viral on WeChat:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

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