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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Spotted on Facebook:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Shared recently on Slack:

Meow means woof in cat.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Live now on Reddit:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Breaking via X:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Spotted on WeChat:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Trending via WeChat:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Going viral on Threads:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Spotted on YouTube:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Breaking via Threads:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

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