Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Just landed via Telegram:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Trending via X:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Just landed via Instagram:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Going viral on Facebook:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Just shared via Instagram:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Funny running away quotes

Funny running away quotes 🏃‍♂️💨 bring a hilarious twist to the art of making a swift exit! Whether you’re dodging awkward moments or just sprinting from responsibilities, these witty sayings add a splash of humor to every getaway. Ready to laugh and run? Let’s dive into some clever lines that make fleeing feel totally fabulous and fun! 😂👟✨

New funny running away quotes 👇

All funny running away quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

77 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

20 shares on Slack this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

16 shares on Facebook this month:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

63 shares on Slack this month:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Making waves on Threads:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Trending via Slack:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Trending via Facebook:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Breaking via Slack:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Seen just now on X:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

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