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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Just shared via YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Spotted on Twitch:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Breaking via Instagram:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Just shared via Threads:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Making waves on Twitch:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Home » Funny Screwed Quotes

Funny screwed quotes

Funny screwed quotes are here to turn your mishaps into laughs 🤪🔩 Whether life’s got you tangled or feeling a bit off-track, these witty lines will screw up your mood in the best way possible 😂💥 Perfect for sharing with friends or just brightening your day with a twist of humor! Ready to embrace the chaos with a smile? Let’s dive into some seriously funny screw-ups! 🎉🤣

New funny screwed quotes 👇

For even more funny screwed quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny screwed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Just shared via X:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Trending via X:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Trending via Pinterest:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

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