Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Trending via Snapchat:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Just landed via Slack:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Going bananas on WeChat:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Funny screwed quotes

Funny screwed quotes are here to turn your mishaps into laughs 🤪🔩 Whether life’s got you tangled or feeling a bit off-track, these witty lines will screw up your mood in the best way possible 😂💥 Perfect for sharing with friends or just brightening your day with a twist of humor! Ready to embrace the chaos with a smile? Let’s dive into some seriously funny screw-ups! 🎉🤣

New funny screwed quotes 👇

All funny screwed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

82 shares on Slack this month:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Live now on Snapchat:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Just landed via Pinterest:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Just shared via Slack:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Live now on X:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Spotted on Reddit:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Going viral on Instagram:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

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