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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Imagine being social on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Freshly posted on X:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Live now on Messenger:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Funny self-importance quotes

Funny self-importance quotes 😂 are the perfect way to poke fun at our own egos while keeping things light and hilarious! Whether you’re feeling a bit too big for your britches or just love a clever jab at vanity, these witty lines will have you chuckling 🤭 and nodding in agreement. Ready to laugh at the quirks of feeling a little extra? Let’s dive into some cheeky humor that keeps ego in check! 😎✨

New funny self-importance quotes 👇

All funny self-importance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

34 shares on X this month:

Easy there, unsaved number.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Shared recently on X:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Going viral on Pinterest:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Spotted on TikTok:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Just landed via Twitch:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Broadcasted on X:

Men are very good at being women lately.

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