Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Trending via Reddit:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Live now on Instagram:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Spotted on Twitch:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Funny shredded quotes

Funny shredded quotes are here to flex your smile muscles 😂💪 Whether you’re hitting the gym hard or just love those shredded vibes, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud while admiring the gains 😎🔥 Get ready for a dose of humor that’s as sharp as your abs and as lighthearted as your favorite workout playlist 🎧🤣 Let’s dive into some seriously funny shredded quotes that pack a punch! 🥳🏋️‍♂️

New funny shredded quotes 👇

All funny shredded quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

38 shares on Discord this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Just landed via X:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Going viral on Reddit:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Seen just now on Slack:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴