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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Just landed via Telegram:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Going viral on Slack:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spotted on Messenger:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Just landed via Instagram:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Funny Sims quotes

Funny Sims quotes bring endless laughs and quirky vibes to your virtual world 🎮😂 From unexpected simlish chatter to hilarious in-game moments, these gems capture the charm and chaos of Sim life perfectly 🌟🏠 Ready to crack up while building your dream house? Let’s dive into the funniest Sims sayings that make every gameplay session a comedy show! 🎉🕹️

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All funny Sims quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

37 shares on Threads this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

45 shares on Slack this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

73 shares on WeChat this month:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

53 shares on Discord this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There are too many neglected emojis.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Going viral on Threads:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Just shared via YouTube:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

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