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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,934

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,934

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Live now on Reddit:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Making waves on Slack:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Shared recently on X:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

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Funny software engineer quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,934

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,934

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Reported on Snapchat:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Shared recently on Threads:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Going viral on Twitch:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

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