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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1738 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,900

Funny Quotes Topics

14,719

Funny Quotes Images

11,900

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Just landed via TikTok:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Just shared via Reddit:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Spotted on YouTube:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Just shared via WeChat:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Spotted on WeChat:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Spotted on Facebook:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Breaking via Slack:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Trending via Telegram:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1738 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,900

Funny Quotes Topics

14,719

Funny Quotes Images

11,900

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Just shared via Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Just shared via Discord:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Trending via Threads:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Breaking via YouTube:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Trending via YouTube:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Reported on Discord:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

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