Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Trending via WeChat:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Spotted on Messenger:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Funny stop ringing quotes

New funny stop ringing quotes 👇

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

2 months ago

call, calls, cell, cell phone, humor, i, interaction, just, phone, procrastination, ringing, social, social interaction, sometimes, stop, stop ringing, tell, wait, watch

All funny stop ringing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

44 shares on Slack this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Trending via TikTok:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Just shared via Slack:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Trending via Threads:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Making waves on TikTok:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stop ringing quotes

New funny stop ringing quotes 👇

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

All funny stop ringing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨