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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Shared recently on Discord:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Spotted on Telegram:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Just shared via Discord:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Just shared via TikTok:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Funny stylist quotes

Funny stylist quotes are the perfect way to add some sass and laughter to your day 💇‍♀️✨ Whether you’re a hair pro or just love a good pun, these witty gems bring style and smiles together 😄💅 Get ready to giggle through the glamour and snip through the humor – because who says beauty can’t be hilarious? 😂💖 #StylistLife #HairHumor

New funny stylist quotes 👇

All funny stylist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

100 shares on Slack this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

68 shares on Discord this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Going viral on Pinterest:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Just shared via YouTube:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Making waves on Telegram:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

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